Are you feeling lonely, scared or worried lately? Is the chaotic state of the world exacerbating those feelings?

Having a sense of control over your life is essential for peace of mind. But with ICE, tariffs and the November midterm elections, things are changing all the time. How can we have a sense of control when things might be radically different next week?

I have found Buddhist psychology to be helpful in this situation. “Comfortable with Uncertainty”, a book by American Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron, has long been a guide for me. I often share the book – and its wisdom – with my clients.

“Be Here Now”, the classic by Ram Dass, says it all right there in the title. Focusing on the future can make anyone scared. Wars, economic upheaval or environmental destruction…we can’t control the future. How many of us ever expected a world like this?

Who knows what life will be like next year?

Be. Here. Now.

Don’t let your mind wander to the future. Ask yourself:

  • Am I safe right now?
  • Do I have enough to eat today?
  • Am I okay at this moment?

Focus on what in your life you can control. Depressed feelings often get worse when you focus too much on the future:

“I sure wish someone would hug me. I feel touch-starved.”

“How long before I have to return to the office full-time?”

“Will I ever find a partner? I’m so sick of dating idiots.”

“I just got bad news about my health: how long can I keep functioning at a high level?”

You can’t answer these questions. You can, however, ask different questions:

“How can I be more loving to people I know?”

“How can I make working from the office as pleasant as possible?”

“What kinds of dates can I go on that make me feel good about myself?”

“Can I focus on the aspects of my health that are going well, instead of obsessing on the parts of my body that are problematic?”

Answering these kinds of questions gives you a sense of control. Staying calm and feeling safe is possible, even in these unpredictable times.

The next time you feel scared or lonely, focus on your breathing. Breathing brings you into the present and helps turn off your mind for a bit, so that all those catastrophizing thoughts are put on “pause”.

Try slowly breathing in and out three times. Go as slow as you can without strain. Then pause. See if you don’t feel a little better. Repeat until your mind stops racing and your body calms down.

Another way to stop yourself from spiraling down is to spell your full name – middle name too – out loud three times. It stops your mind from obsessing on negative thoughts of the future. (I know it sounds weird, but try it).

When you mind drifts into alarming thoughts about the future, gently bring it back to the present. It’s like potty training a puppy: when you want your new darling to pee on the newspaper and the puppy keeps wandering off to pee on the carpet instead, you gently bring the puppy back to the newspaper and say, “This is where you pee” and when he/she pees on the newspaper, you reward this sweet creature with love and a puppy treat.

Basically, you do the same thing when you’re training your mind to stay in the present: when your mind wants to go wandering off into the future, you gently bring your mind back to the present and say, “This is where I want to be” and give yourself some love and a little reward.

Be a kind and gentle trainer for Your Inner Puppy. In times like these, it really helps.