As the world gets more and more unpredictable every day, how do you cope with loss?
Loss of stability
Loss of economic security
Loss of a job
Loss of a home, a neighborhood, a city (fire, flooding, tornados)
Loss of emotional security
Loss of integrity in the world (more greed, less caring about others)
Loss of a relationship (divorce, separation, drifting apart)
There’s a lot of loss these days. As the USA/World economy continues to take hit after hit and tariffs make everyone uncertain, I find myself asking:
- How do you grieve when the situation keeps changing?
- How do you grieve when it’s all so confusing?
- How do you grieve for someone you don’t know? (like victims of a flood, shooting, fire or other disaster)
No two people grieve the same way. Don’t try to do it like your friends, respect your own grieving process. Your friends may be angry, you may be sad. Your friends may be openly weeping, you may feel numb. However you’re doing it is right for you. Trust yourself and what you’re feeling.
Do something constructive. If you can donate money to those who need it, do it. If you can donate food or clothing, do it. If you can be kinder to people around you, do it. If you feel moved to say something positive and helpful on social media, do it. Taking positive action is a good antidote to feeling helpless.
The world economy is so confusing on many levels. Watching the news, the situation keeps changing. As I follow along, my emotions keep changing too. It’s not easy, but do your best to accept the confusion. As I sometimes tell myself, “Some things are unfigureoutable” (a word I made up).
Don’t be surprised by intense emotions, or lack of them. If you feel so much at once, that’s okay. If you feel overwhelmed and numb, that’s okay too. Grief is not predictable. You may think you’re “over” it, and then, tomorrow, you see more national/international chaos/cruelty/greed and feel like crying. I’m not an economist, so I don’t know how all this will play out. I am a psychotherapist and most of my clients are feeling a lot of anxiety and grief as we’re forced to give up living in a world that we thought we knew and are plunged into a world without safety, justice or reasonably priced necessities like food and shelter.
A while back I took a training for therapists called, “Helping People Cope with Disaster”. Here are six suggestions on helping yourself at this difficult and confusing time:
- Talk with other people about your fears/worries – It’s best not to isolate and keep all this inside you. Talking about the rapid change in the world makes us feel less alone – as we realize that everyone’s going through pretty much the same stuff that we are.
- Limit your exposure to the news – Instead, focus on the normalcy of the rest of your life. You might want to check in with the news once or twice a day, rather than once or twice an hour.
- Treat yourself with more kindness and care than usual – When we’re grieving the loss of something we miss – a sense of safety and security – it helps a lot to be extra-gentle and kind to yourself. Do things to make yourself feel loved and cared for.
- Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and get help if you need it . Some of us need to talk with our friends more than usual. Others will want to have more quiet time. A friend of mine took a walk in Balboa Park to help cope with his worries about the state of the world. A client of mine started cleaning her house and said it made her feel better: more “in control”. I find that gardening, reading, exercising and listening to music help me in times like these, as does petting every dog and cat I come in contact with.
- If you find yourself in need of more than the support of your friends, get some professional help. For behavioral health crises, you can call the San Diego Access & Crisis Line at 1-888-724-7240 or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
- And, above all else, stand in solidarity with like-minded people, locally, nationally and internationally. We’re all in this together, we’ll get through it together.
