While your first few psychotherapy sessions are a time for the therapist to gather information about you, it’s also an opportunity for you to interview them to see if their approach and personality are going to work for you. You can expect to talk about: (1) what type of therapy will be used, (2) the goals of your treatment, (3) how many therapy sessions you may need, and (4) what it will cost.

I encourage you to ask lots of questions during your appointment: it’s your time and money. If you don’t feel comfortable with the first psychotherapist you see, try someone else.

You’ll probably meet with your therapist once a week – in person or online – or every other week for a session that lasts 45 to 60 minutes.

There are a number of effective types of psychotherapy. Many therapists – like me – draw from a wide variety of approaches and techniques. Your therapist will consider your particular situation and preferences to determine which approach may be best for you. Some psychotherapy techniques proven to be effective include:

Internal Family Systems therapy focuses on understanding and healing the internal conflicts that people experience. It’s based on the premise that the human mind is composed of multiple subpersonalities, or “parts,” that interact with each other.  

Somatic Relational Psychotherapy is a mind-body therapy that uses verbal dialogue and physical exercises to release chronic muscle tension, formed in response to past experiences.

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps people identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones.

Dialectical behavior therapy teaches behavioral skills to help the client handle stress, manage your emotions and improve your relationships with others.

Psychodynamic and psychoanalysis therapies focus on increasing your awareness of unconscious thoughts and behaviors, developing new insights into your motivations, and resolving conflicts.

For most types of psychotherapy, your therapist will encourage you to talk about your thoughts and feelings. Don’t worry if – initially – you find this hard to do so. For most people, it takes time to get comfortable opening up to someone who is initially a stranger. You may find yourself crying, upset or even having an angry outburst during a session: this is perfectly natural. That’s why you’re going to a professional and not just venting to your best friend. Your therapist has been trained to help you cope with strong feelings and emotions.

Hopefully, your therapist may ask you to do “homework” to do between sessions. Doing homework will speed your healing process and let you build on what you learn during your therapy sessions.

Except in very specific circumstances, conversations with your therapist are confidential. A therapist may break confidentiality if there is an immediate threat to safety or when required by state or federal law to report concerns to authorities.

The number of psychotherapy sessions you need and how frequently you need to see your therapist depend on:

  • Your particular situation, e.g., end of a romantic relationship, lost your job, a death of someone close to you
  • How long you’ve been dealing with your situation
  • Your rate of progress toward your therapy goal(s)
  • The support you receive from the people in your life that love and care for you
  • Cost- and insurance-related limitations

It may take just a few sessions to help you cope with a short-term situation. Or, it may take a year or longer if you have long-standing patterns of dysfunction to unlearn.

Therapy is most effective when you’re an active participant and share in decision making. Make sure you and your therapist agree about the major issues and how to tackle them. Success with psychotherapy depends on your willingness to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences and to consider new ideas and ways of doing things.

If you feel down or lack motivation, it may be tempting to skip psychotherapy sessions. If so, talk with your therapist about this. Working on emotional issues can be painful and may require hard work. It’s not uncommon to feel worse during the initial part of therapy as you begin to confront past and current conflicts. You may need several sessions before you begin to see improvement.

If you don’t feel that you’re benefiting from therapy after several sessions, talk to your therapist about it. You and your therapist may decide to make some changes or try a different approach. Or you may want to try working with a different therapist to see if it’s more productive.

Whether you choose to stay or try someone else, I strongly encourage you to not give up: your mental health is worth it!