What is IQ anyway? IQ stands for intelligence quotient: a numerical score from a standardized test that measures human cognitive abilities, including logic, memory, problem-solving, and spatial reasoning.
Curious, I went down the IQ Rabbit Hole and – after doing more than a little research – ended up more confused than ever. Intelligence tests can be helpful in describing and quantifying differences in cognitive functioning among people. They can be used to identify individual strengths and weaknesses, and they often do a good job of predicting future performance—but not potential.
There’s a great Reddit stream that asks: “What does IQ Measure? Is it Bullshit?” It’s both amusing and enlightening. After doing my research, I came up with my personal definition of IQ, particularly, 7 traits/qualities that indicate – at least to me – a high IQ.
1. Be humble. I heard author Richard Rohr say, “I ask for one major humiliation a day.” I was stunned: I couldn’t believe that someone wouldwant that. “One major humiliation a day keeps me humble” he said. I can’t say that I ask for one major humiliation every day, but I do ask God/The Universe/Allah to help me stay humble and not think I’m more entitled or deserving than anyone else.
2. Stay out of Victim Mode. We tell ourselves stories to feel better because we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel. Most people I’ve met during my years as a therapist have some kind of a victim story going on: “Oh, poor me, those awful/mean/stupid people did it to me”. It’s quite a shift in consciousness to say: “I see how I contributed to this situation. I do have responsibility here.” This takes you out of victim mode and puts you into “What can I learn from this?”.
3. Admit when you’re wrong. For about thirty years, I had a knee problem. I went to a Chinese elder for acupuncture, which helped, but the pain kept coming back. One day, after this wise woman gave me a treatment, she muttered under her breath, “Knee problems, must not be willing to be wrong.” I said, “What?” She said, “People with knee problems need to be right so bad that they lock their knees: their knees never heal.” I asked her what to do. She said, “Be willing to be wrong.” So, I started saying, “I’m willing to be wrong” over-and-over again. Of course, my knee pain went away.
4. Know how to calm yourself. If you had perfect parents, you’re probably terrific at calming yourself when something bad happens. For the rest of us, it’s something we can learn. I help clients with this all the time. If you’d like to know how this works, contact me and I’ll be happy to give you some self-soothing tools.
5. Focus on the questions in life. Not the answers. It has long been my experience that if you ask the “right” questions, the answersalways come. Maybe not as fast as you’d like, but they willcome.
6. Be comfortable with uncertainty. We want to control everything in our path. Then we get pissed off when things don’t go according to “our” plan. This is the perfect setup for unhappiness. Uncertainty is the way of life. There is so much that we can’t control: if we make peace with this, our lives will be so much better.
7. Do no harm. Do you ever set out to mess with people? Make them feel bad? In our weakest moments, we all do. But it doesn’t make us happy: it just escalates the misery that prompted us to hurt them in the first place, and when you purposely want to hurt somebody, it comes back to bite youin the ass. Instead, aspire to “do no harm” and make it easy for other people (and animals) to like you.
This is my own list of the signs of a high IQ. Perhaps it might be more accurate to call it, “Seven Signs of Wisdom”. I hope you find it useful.
